By Eric S. Crane
Once
upon a time… I was 18 years old, knew everything,
listened to no one, and took off on my own from the Podunk town of Taft, CA and
headed to majestic Hollywood to begin my exciting career as an actor. I was a born again Christian and therefore
believed myself invincible. I had not
even read the Bible in its entirety, but who cares!? Who can stand against me, right? However, I believed I was the vine and God
was my branch; He was only there to provide me fruit. Typical teenage mentality. I was going to rock Hollywood with MY
Christianity!!!
Needless
to say, when temptation came, I indulged.
When I was tested, I failed. I
was a willful young man and my will was not God’s.
The
extravagance of Hollywood parties, led to sex, alcohol, drugs…until the parties
were no longer held in a mansion, but in my lousy, pathetic little
apartment. This is the life of someone
of someone who has zeal without knowledge.
So I returned to
that Podunk town, with my tail between my legs, to start from scratch. You see, I believed that God helps those that
help themselves. Yet, as Isaiah
25:4 teaches us: God
helps the helpless! Christ died for us
because we are weak & ungodly…but life’s rough when you believe the exact
opposite about yourself. Teenage
mentality comes before the fall.
Now that my
self-fashioned, worldly armor had been thoroughly broken and trampled on, I
began to slowly put on the armor of God.
I read the bible. Dove head first
into His Word. Let me tell: it
hurt. Oh! It was horrible! The Word of God shines a light onto our
sinful nature and it is a daunting experience.
The process of sanctification is painful. Holy Spirit surgery; cutting in with a scalpel
of scripture and carving away the fat of sin.
Many people cannot handle, nor do they even admit this truth. Take a look at gym rats, with their
Adonis-like bodies and 4% body fat: they may love the gym now, but I guarantee
they hated the early days of their training; when they were jiggly and
weak. Reading the bible is training regimen.
Though the
sanctification process never ends, after the initial part… when I realized my
awesomeness was like filthy rags (Romans
3:23), that the wages
of sin is death (Romans
6:23), and that God
loves us while we were sinners and died for us (Romans 5:8)… that’s when I began to see myself as God
sees me: forgiven, washed clean, and cloaked in the glory of Jesus Christ! Turns out, now, THROUGH JESUS, I am finally
what I always wanted to be: Awesome! He
is the vine and I am a branch, ready to bear fruit. I hungered for the God. I had a thirst for truth. I studied the Word intently. I bothered all my Pastor friends with
questions. I read every book I could get
my hands on…. Really sounds like a gym rat, huh? Now that I finally started seeing results, I
began studying every workout & diet, bothering people far more buff than
me: this was how I was towards Christianity.
I wanted anything that would give me a deeper relationship with Christ.
Of course, what’s
the point of having guns if you don’t use them?
So I started becoming a bigger part of my church. Not to show off, but to put these muscles to
work! Now I’m a Youth Leader, a council
member, and I write & produce Christian plays!!! Yet, I still desire to go even deeper. I want to utilize all the gifts & tools
God has granted me. I want to be a
better leader, a better writer, a more knowledgeable Christian. Studying by yourself can only take you so far.
In July I will
officially begin classes at Summit Bible College!
Surround myself with like-minded Christians who wish to grow and help
each other in our journey. To study
under a highly educated professor, instead of bothering my Pastor with every
little question I have. I will be
studying Church History under Kathy Dyer and Psychology & The Mind of Christ under Lowell Lueck.
I’m still going
to be the Youth Leader at my church. I’m
still going to see Man of Steel when it comes out. I’m still going catch up on Dr. Who on Netflix and find out what happens to Walter &
Jesse on Breaking Bad. But
I’ll also be learning, growing, and bettering myself through theological
education.
I wish I would’ve
made this decision before that punk 18 year old flushed away so many good
years; but hey, I’m 33, in the prime of my life, and I’m a student…and that’s
ok.
